Sorry, piggies

I've always wondered what it must be like to be a vegetarian. Do you get some kind of a membership card? Do you get 15% off on video rentals? Where do I sign up? But I think the biggest thing I wonder about is: How on Earth do you do it?

I don't think I could go without meat for one week. I find meals start to taste pretty average without a big hunk of meat in my mouth every once in a while. Sure, I've had vegetarian meals before... vegetarian lasagna, soups, pastas and a few other pretty tasty dishes but I don't think it would always be that easy. For example, I couldn't just make a sandwich when I get hungry. Of course, I could make peanut butter sandwiches but I'm honestly not too fond of them anymore. Being a high school student, the very few vegetarian meals they offer in the cafeteria every once in a while look pretty scary (even moreso than the other food-like substances they serve there). Another big factor is that I don't really like cheese. I can stand it on pizza, or a little bit on a salad or Subway submarine or something like that, but in general I don't want a big lump of rubbery cheese in my mouth. This leaves me with very few options if I were a vegetarian.

Oh, and did I forget to mention just how good meat tastes? Give me a good old-fashioned hamburger over a tofu salad any day.
My vegetarian friend once told me she had a BBQ with her family during which she ate hamburger buns with mustard on them and not much more. First of all, that sounds so boring. Knowing I could be chowing down on steak instead of a plain old BUN would be torture for me. Second, those buns probably contain minimal amounts of the recommended daily intake of... oh, I don't know... EVERYTHING? Even for a small guy, I like to eat a lot, so I would probably have to eat like five or six hamburger buns just to satisfy my hunger. That's a lot of buns.

You may have seen the videos at the PETA website protesting the meat industry and whatnot. I have and let me tell you right now that they're not friendly suggestions anymore. Slaughterhouse footage, debeaking videos, throat-slitting... they send a strong message. It's a shame these things are happening, but I just don't think I have the willpower to be a vegetarian right now. Maybe in a few years. So for now, it's "Sorry, piggies. Sorry cows, chickens and turkeys. Sorry pigeons, rats and old newspaper shreddings (I enjoy the occasional hotdog now and then). You just taste too good."

My name is Jake, and I am a Wannabe Vegetarian.