Dear d34dpuppy:

I'm not dead, dude. I'm hibernating. I don't know where you happen to live but over here it's fucking FREEZING outside, so I spend most of my time curled into a fetal position desperately trying to conserve enough body heat to last till spring. Since you refuse to let sleeping streaks lie, I might as well give you some sort of an update.

The non-disclosure agreement I signed prevents me from getting into the details, but I can tell you that my job isn't as awesome as it used to be. I'm now testing a game with so little actual gameplay in it that if gameplay were white people the game would be called Harlem. I don't think my vocabulary contains enough adjectives to describe how boring this so-called game gets sometimes. It's still the best job I've ever had but it's not ahead by as much as it used to be.

I've been watching a lot more tv lately. So much, in fact, that the last thing I expected to happen has happened.

I found a commercial I kind of sort of like. Most commercials make me want to drop a brick on somebody's fucking head so badly that I might have to avoid watching them alone because I don't want to accidentally take my rage out on myself. Fuck, I hate commercials. Except for this one commercial for something called McCain Smooth-eez. There's this kid sitting on the floor building a model or something and his parent walks into the room and accidentally steps on it. The face the kid makes looking up at his parent for a split seconds gets me every time, man. Every time. He just looks so... crushed. I couldn't give two shits about McCain, or Smooth-eez, or any combination of the two, but that kid actor gets props for cheering me up when I need it.

The sentence you're currently reading is about to sum up absolutely everything I know about the winter olympics going on in Torino, Italy, in which Canada has 8 medals as of right now. This impressive wealth of knowledge comes from glancing at newspaper headlines, and not much else. In conclusion, winter olympics = boring.

Guess what, I just looked it up and Canada has 11 medals right now, not 8. So there you go. Like I said, boring.