What First Amendment?

Read this first.

I have to point out that it's sort of hard to pass judgment without reading the story he wrote first, but I'm going to do it anyway because I feel like it.

I was going to try to make this a well-thought out post about the absurdity of the situation but the more I think about it the more I realize that won't be happening.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? First off, the grandparents turned their grandson in over finding a story he wrote? What a pair of fucking loser grandparents. Why don't you old twats stick to giving us socks and sweaters rather than FELONY CHARGES. If my grandmother tried something like that with me she'd wake up with more than the daily recommended amount of broken hips.

Oh, and the story was about zombies. Could somebody please tell me how a fictional story about zombies taking over a high school could in any way be perceived as a terroristic threat? Zombies don't even EXIST. Is threatening to cast a spell on someone considered a threat these days? If I call up a school and announce "THERE IS A VAMPIRE IN THE BUILDING. MEET MY DEMANDS OR HE WILL SUCK THE BLOOD OF ONE HOSTAGE EVERY HOUR ON THE HOUR", will I be taken seriously? I don't fucking think so. So why am I even hearing about this stupid zombie threat?

Somebody must have been scared shitless because not only is he being held for writing a story, but his bail has been raised "after prosecutors requested it, citing the seriousness of the charge". At this point words can't even express what I'm thinking so here are a bunch of letters in a half-random order that may help you get a grasp of what I think of this whole situation:

FUCKFUCKFUCKNOWHATHEFUCKSOFUCKING DUMBJUSTFUCKINGDIEALREYADFUCK WHOGIVESASHTIIFWHEWROTEABOUTUCKFUCZOMBIES SHITFUCKFUCK

That being said I'd like to demonstrate what many people around the world are being deprived of every day, free speech, in the only way I know how.

-- begin free speech
I believe that all people of any race other than my own are inferior to me in every way. They're even inferior at being inferior, which tells you a lot about how much I hate them. They aren't worth the bullet I'd like to put in each and every one of their foreheads.

Furthermore, gay people should be burned at the stake or at least stabbed on site. I am sexually aroused by rubber boots and cream cheese. The only thing I hate more than old people is babies, because they may some day grow into old people. Therefore I would like to nominate myself for presidency of the "Kill Everybody Except Me" club.

America is the biggest shitheap excuse for a country this world will ever see and if given the chance I would happily set it on fire. Everybody from America is by association an idiot and not worthy of the time of the guy whose job it is to tell people whether or not they are worthy of my time.

Telemarketing fraud is only possible because there are people stupid enough to fall for it. If people would stop believing almost everything upon hearing it and actually start realizing that giving out personal information concerning your goddamn MONEY over the phone is a stupid idea then telemarketing fraud couldn't exist, now could it? Until then I'm glad you got suckered out of 400$.

I, Jacob Young, have placed thermonuclear devices in several cities around world and will detonate them if I am not named Supreme Grand Leader Guy of Everything In This Universe and All Other Possible Universes Not Discovered Yet.

-- end free speech (but not really)

If anybody has any objections, complaints, suggestions, terroristic (apparently it's a word now) threats or questions, good for you.